Posted by: wantpeacework4justice | April 9, 2008

You Should Not Get Involved With Me Because…

First, I have not stayed at the same job for more than two years, and am constantly looking for jobs that pay me less than I am making now in more remote locations. I have a mortgage (and a roommate to help me pay it), a car loan that is probably more than my car is worth (and a consistently messy car full of dog hair), a student loan that nearly equals what I paid for my house, and a large credit card debt, which won’t be paid off anytime soon.  Plus, I live way beyond my means, want a new bike, and travel constantly.  If we exercise together, I will try to beat you.  I have no idea what my IQ is, but sometimes I have problems figuring out how to push buttons on an elevator, especially if the numbers are in a foreign language, like Spanish. And what the hell is an IRA?  I have loads of STDs, unless those are saddle sores – can’t tell.  I probably won’t be able to have only one kid at a time.  None of my friends like me, in fact, I believe that some of them have secret plans to kill me.  My family. . . they hate me too, especially my sisters – they are jealous of my breasts.  I don’t have a criminal history, but that’s because I’ve never been caught.  I am sneaky, will find out everything about you, and then use it against you when you are least expecting.  Also, my dog doesn’t obey me, I can’t cook and no one thinks I’m funny. 
Really, the only thing I have going for me is my legs.  And I’m glad you like them.

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